Learning more about the Haitian culture

On Friday the 8th we received some bad news – Joel’s grandmother passed away. She lived a long life, but had been sick recently. Since Joel is one of the few men in his family with a steady job, the funeral responsibilities fell to him. Monday was the wake and the funeral yesterday. He asked me to go to the party after the wake, and I accepted his invitation.

Monday evening was the party Joel setup following his Grandmother’s wake. He was supposed to pick me up at 7:00pm, but got delayed until 9:30ish. I was tired and getting ready to head to bed. I figured he was busy and didn’t have time to get away and come pick me up. But, just before I called it a night, he pulled up on a motorcycle with Alix. I hopped on the back of Alix’s bike and we were off. The ride was quite bumpy and was made a bit more exciting when a goat jumped out from behind a fence in front of us. Alix is a good driver and handled the surprise well. After a few more minutes we were there safe and sound.

I was a bit surprised to see how many people were there at almost 10 o’clock. I would have to say there were at least one hundred people. The first stop we made was at Joel’s mother’s house. It was approximately 10’ by 20’, stone wall construction with concrete mortar. The roof was only partially finished. Maybe one third was complete and covered her bedroom. But, there was a 1 and ½ foot gap exposed over her room. So, when it rains, it rains in her room. She was very nice and invited me in. She kissed me on the cheek and offered me something to drink. It wasn’t long before two of Joel’s cousins came in to meet me, followed by two of his brothers. They were extremely friendly and spoke excellent English. I was happy to meet his family.

We walked around a bit and I tried to soak up as much as I could. There were so many different activities going on that it was hard to keep track. Some people were singing, some dancing. Others were playing cards or dominos. A few were cooking various types of food, while a couple of ladies were making coffee and tea in giant pots.

I found the domino game interesting. Not the game itself but the dynamic between the players. The game was being played on a makeshift table. One gentleman in particular would slam his domino on the table as if to say “take that!” All the dominos would bounce up in the air about 6” and land in a scattered mess. But, it was essentially a “nothing” move. I figured out that the real game had nothing to do with dominos. They didn’t even keep score. The real game was to identify how the other team was cheating. You see, the game was played in teams. The teammates sit across from each other. Everyone cheats. The trick is to figure out how they are cheating and call them on it. Once cheaters have been “found out”, they are kicked out of the game and replaced with the next team of cheaters. The guy who kept slamming his dominos was sending a signal to his teammate. The other team figured out what the signal meant and kicked them out.

While we were watching the game I started asking Joel some questions about his mothers’ house. I wanted to know why the roof wasn’t finished and how much it would cost for him to finish it. He told me what I already knew, which was that Haitians build their houses themselves. They build what they can, when they can afford it. I believe this is one of the reasons why there were so many buildings that failed in the earthquake. When you drive through a city like Port-au-Prince, you start to notice that when a building collapsed, one floor may have remained intact. For example, I saw a three story building in which the top floor crumbled into the second floor. The second floor remained largely in one piece, but the first floor crumbled underneath it. I think it demonstrates that when they build structures as they can afford them, some areas are made better or worse than others, and with better or worse materials. The cost of the materials that Joel will need to finish the house is exceptionally modest by US standards, $250. But in Haiti, that constitutes almost one quarter of the average income for an individual. What makes it more difficult in Joel’s case, is that he had to spend whatever money he had saved for his mother’s house, on his grandmother’s funeral. It was obvious that the roof issue weighed heavily on his mind. The rainy season is just a few weeks away and he doesn’t have the time or the money to complete the project before then.

It seemed as though I was shuffled off as quickly as I arrived. Alix received a series of phone calls from his wife before he finally said, “we have to go, my wife wants me home.” Without hesitation we all said goodnight and away we went. I think most of us married men knew that when the wife says it’s time to come home, it was time to come home!